Love em or HATE em sleeved uniforms are here to stay. Adidas wanting to sell more uniforms and the NBA wanting more space for eventual ad space have all decided sleeved uniforms are a good thing. The only problem is that some Dumb Fuck at Adidas forgot that to sell shit it has to look good. If you are one of the sheep that think these new “uniforms” are cool go shoot yourself in the head and leave me your closet full of every pair of Jordan’s that dropped this year.
We as consumers have forgotten that we hold the power. If we refuse to buy they will change. I am refusing to buy, say it with me, I refuse to buy, I refuse to buy, now go fire that guy.
First of all let me say I think a sleeved uniform could be a good thing. I think Adidas and the NBA have taken the wrong approach to adding sleeves to the uniform rotation. Sleeved uniforms right now are an ugly gimmick for both college and the NBA. The uniforms have no connection back to the team, the history, or swagger of any fan base . This one bad design fits all shit that some Dumb Fuck at Adidas has deemed a good design technique needs to go away.
Problems with Adidas Uniforms
1. All teams look the same
Uniforms used to have soul. Teams used to have a personality. Teams had colors. Teams had Mascots. Teams had an identity. Adidas has white washed over all of that history.
One uniform template for all 30 teams kills any swag that might come with a new uniform. This one template design makes it look like a fucking YMCA league out there. Teams and designers need to be allowed to be different. The shorts should have personality. Logos should look like logos. Team colors should be used. Grandpas should be able to look at the TV and be able to know who is playing.
2. Too many fucking stripes
Yeah, I know you paid a ton for the contract but a shit-ton of stripes on a game uni makes it look like a practice uni. So, just stop.
3. No blanket Patterns
Adidas it seems only has one good idea for all of its teams. Last year this butt nugget was impact camo. It sucked and didn’t connect to any team but everyone got the template uni and looked like shit. The same lambs went to twitter to talk about them while the rest of us with eyes went what dumb fuck approved that? It wasn’t even a new idea. It was ugly 80’s shit recycled.
4. Sleeved uniforms should be an option
Lets face it not everyone likes sleeves and not everyone likes tanks. So, why can’t a guy that likes sleeves wear them every game. The sleeved uniform should be made in every version of the uniform and the players should be allowed to decide what works for them. Adidas could them sell both versions. Consumers are stupid so people would buy both. Adidas gets to sell more uniforms and players stop bitching sounds like a win win to me.
5. Spend more than an hour on a design
Adidas might tell you that they spent months working on these uniforms and if that is true they need to fire the idiots they hired. I could personally redesign the entire league in a month with options to spare and none of the looks would look as bad as any of the Adidas production models. In the end I think that we need to stop blaming the uniform and start pointing fingers at the men and women that are designing the uniforms and the dumb fucks that keep approving this shit.
Adidas so badly wants be better than Nike and UA that they think that getting laughed at on twitter is good because people are talking about the brand. If they really wanted to do something good for the brand they would bring in some new blood and get out of the designers way. Stop making your marketing department determine your design. Design something people want in the first place and then market it.
6. Adidas forgot how to color
Adidas has gotten to this place where they longer can color between the lines to make a pretty picture. No, matter how advance the tech in uniforms become lets all be honest in the end we are left with a tank top or a shirt and pair of shorts for an outline that has be be colored in so it doesn’t look like shit. Adidas needs to learn to color again. Go grab your box of 128 because class is about to start.
Now that my rant is over I am going to make some All-Star Game Concepts. I am going to keep the sleeves and show Adidas and the rest of the world the sleeves are not the problem. The problem is Adidas.
I did a few sleeved uniforms a year or so ago. You can see them on my site here or on flickr
Follow the links if you want to see some.
Hawks
Warriors
Suns
Mavs
Spurs
Lakers
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